When silence is still golden

If you put me in a circle of random people, I'll be the one who stands quitely. Basically, I'm not a talkative person. I used to think that people who always know what to say, look confident talking in front of thousands guests and friendly to a new friend is the best idol I should follow. But then, life for once again changes my perception. When too many talkings felt overwhelmed, then it's better to stay quite.

When I look back several moments in the past, I will find my self trying to be a person I put as my idol--the best idol. But now, that moment is no longer continue. I think it's a proud feeling to be just who you are, and I'm proud to be a quite girl like my secondary's teacher used to call me.

Quite is being silence and silence itself has two different reasons. You can be silent because you don't know, or you can keep quite because that's the right thing to do instead of talk shits. In my opinion, being silence is more than just listening what people saying and more than watching people doing things. It's quite common for people today to speak their minds, this condition is applied to me as well. I support democracy or everything related to a freedom to say opinions. But then, I think this democracy thing also gives people freedom to not saying what their minds. Not because the not knowing or there's a tyrant tells them so, but it's because silence is the best way to not making anything become worse than it has been.

I do lots of thinking in my head (until I get insomnia) and it's one of the reason why I'm categorized as a quite person besides I'm a shy girl. And I become quieter when I'm assured that some events is better when I just keep my mouth shut and watch what happened and then I'm gonna say a lil thing in the end of that event. Just to suggest something or critize it.

On the other hand, I'd prefer keep my words when I made a mistake by let the words spread out. This reason is stronger to transform me to be just my self than another reasons. I try to be nice by talking friendly but the feedback I got is people telling me to just keep my unimportant words inside. It hurts however, but makes me stronger somehow. And once again it reminds me why I should be proud for being a quite girl.

When people asking my comment or opinion about something, I'd rather say simple and common things. It's better for me to write or tell my opinion by my will. I will have an analyzing description and critics because I think about it before. I need to think everything (or plan it) before it comes out from my mouth. That's why there ain't many words I say when I talk to people because there're so many things I think don't need to come out, it's better stay in my brain.

I know there's a rule about when you can keep silence and when you have to say something immediately. That rule ain't wrong, I obey that because it's related with my life however. I can't be just still when my right is being abused. I will fight my rights no matter what.

So I think the old phrase 'Silence is golden' is still happening right now, especially these days. Too many shout outs will make everything looks complicated and turns bad. I'm proud for being a quite girl.