Nobody's saint

Been away for a long time and I feel it a bit weird to come back here, while in the other side I really wanna write again. It's been pretty hectic with life recently, hectic with human related stuff. Traits, personality, habit; those three things cannot separated from a person. I realized that and I appreciate individual differences as I want it happened to me as well. But sometimes, it just doesn't happen that simple. I tend to value a person from the first impression, and if it's changed then I'll revalue it. Individual value for me is like whether they're a fun person and whether they're a good friend. And mostly, my value is never changed.

Photo by Ocotox

But shit happened, ayte? So, I guess this time is kinda new to me and surprised me a bit. When I thought she's wise and mature, there's a moment when I found her so impolite and done something outta manner. I feel it so intolerance and I wanna puke in a sudden. When I thought she's a biatch, there's a moment when I found her become so lovely and humble till I can't deny it. You know, it sucks to know this thing happened. It sucks to know that I misjudged people in several points. Well, then I realized that there's one thing that never changed; traits. It sticks in a person's body and mind. It's them, it's everybody said about you and I guess it's something I recognized as a first impression. You know what, it's all turn me back to be a quite person. I'd hold my self to not saying a thing, just observe. Somehow I find my self again by doing that, and it's pleasing me so much. I learn to hold my anger, to manage the temper and err... try to not puke when I feel so fed up about someshit. I should grateful for this, then. When I found I've 'misjudged' a person but then I found it that I was right all this time, makes me smile and proud of my self. That everything I've done to handle with that situation is right, I've never made any mistake. They're just a person like they are, as the first impression told me, they are their traits. -- -- -- -- -- Anyway, exams week has gone for weeks and I'm still in my holiday as we speak. There're several marks from the exams that has been published on my college's website and I think I'd like to thanks to all the musics that played in my Jukebox. They have accompanied me through all the bad times during the process and kept me survive till the end. Ok, I make it too dramatic. But, you know, I just damn glad to know that this subject I tried to focus, got a pretty good mark. It's just bloody relieving. And of course I wanna say thanks to Allah SWT :] I think I agree with what Raditya Dika said about getting through college life: don't need to be brilliant or whatsoever, just survive and you'll be fine ;] -- -- -- -- -- I just watched a movie called Julie & Julia, yes, that Meryl Streep's movie and I kinda got sort of an enlightenment after that. I wanna cook immediately. You know how much I love Nigella Lawson and her recipe and of course her cooking show, and I think it's occurred on Julia Child and Julie Powell as well :] Watching them cooking is like heaven, it's like I can smell what flavor they tried to boil. It's like I can taste too what they mixed on the saucepan. It's like heaven! Gosh, I wanna bake again right now. I have this tart recipe from a man in Flickr and I plan to try it on this holiday but apparently I (once again) have no time and mostly run out of bucks. I don't know, it's holiday, I don't go anywhere that often but my wallet is empty in no time! I need to reschedule it sometime around. Next month... perhaps? We'll see. -- -- -- -- -- Couple weeks ago, I was in my office, it wasn't one of those hectic days and my lecturer came for a visit because she's the assessor of the day. She's taking Master degree in a university in Malaysia and sometimes she comes home and visits my office. She's a nice person. You know, chatting with a wide-knowledge person is always fun. And I love it when I got a moment like that. Just exactly like that day. We were sitting in the intern square table and some interns (including me) were listening to what she said; to her story. There are sooooooooo many stuffs I can learn, I finally know and I'm happy to have it in my head right now :] Actually I'd love to continue listening to her story but I gotta go home and yes, I decided to leave at the end. It was Mia who were with me stepping outta office and we both agree that it was fun to have a chat with my lecturer. Kinda feel some enlightment :]

Marissa Haque

And couple days ago I watched a show on TV and adore Marissa Haque in a sudden, after watching her talking and gave a comment. Seriously, her knowledge is just soooo awesome and she correlated the problem with what she knows and tried to explain the real fact based on the theory. It's terrific, for me. It wasn't a political topic she was commenting about (if it was then I wouldn't staying around for the rest of the show), it's about family matter and its complexity. Some people might say it's cheesy stuff but after listening to what she said, you may reconsider your thought. -- -- -- -- -- It was almost a week ago when I felt like a worried mother. Seriously. I made frown everwhere I go, I guess. Mao got sick, he vomited as the first symptom and then he didn't wanna eat his food and drink water only. I tried to Google it and it said that Mao might've got intestines infection. A major horror suddenly attacked me. When I said we'd better take him to see the vet to my lil brother, my parents seemed not having the same thought as me. So, with all the hopes, I took care of him by MY SELF. I spent most of my time sitting next to him when I'm at home, just to convince him that he's not abandoned with his condition. He's just like a baby. I could easily cry when I heard his weak and low voice. I mean it, I barely hear nothing. My cat is strong, very moved and sometimes pretty noisy. But it's just the way I love him. His healthy body and mind. His body was terribly thin, I can't see his tummy anymore, he walked like an old man and it was getting worse when I saw him colapsed and lying on the floor trembling. Major panic. Everytime I leave home for office, I feel like a mother with a sick child. I kept worrying him. But then, my prayers' finally answered. My lil brother shocked me when he called me that we lost Mao, well, he was just kidding. I hate you, bro! He said Mao is getting pretty well. And when I finally got home, I didn't have the guts to see Mao with my bare eyes. You know, to prove whatever my lil brother said to me.

In the middle of his healthy night

The night was darker and I suddenly heard a voice I missed, my favorite miaow :] Mao is just like my lil brother said, he's fine. He got his health back. However, he still haven't got his weight back and the body is still not really fit. You know, body condition after recovery. We give him the best food in this recovery period, milk and Whiskas kitten cornet. And yes, thank God he's fine now :] -- -- -- -- --

Photo by m0thyyku

Nobody can say you can't. So, do everything you wanna do and keep pursuing you dreams! :D