Laugh and Struggle

For the first time, I cried so hard two days later. It's the first time after the wishing time before I got to college. I cried to God, because He's the one I trust.

With all the scores I got in this semester, I got nothing but disappointment. Something that will be showed in front of my parents. Which definitely not something I wanna show to them. I have no guts to see their face, I did my best but apparently it came out even worse than the result two semesters a go.

That night was the first time since I miss the moment when I can cry and talk to God in private.

Problems come like a shit recently. Not only me, but it seems problems are kinda buzzing people around me. Serious problems which make me thinking more often than before. Thinking about my life, my self and how this world works. And I wonder, is it a better way to make people grown up? With facing bitter facts and dealing with serious problems? You know what, it's suck!

I know I can't have fun forever, there's always a sad moment which I gotta handle so it won't last forever. That's why I decided to stick with art and literature stuffs, it brings me fun and cheer me up everytime I meet them. That's why I decided to love my bestfriends no matter what, they feed me with love and happiness. Family is another thing, they're something personal that stands aside after God. They stay forever in my heart.

With all the shitty things I got recently, I got acknowledge about how my friends see me. Their point of view about me before they knew me, it's kinda interesting somehow. I become more convince about who I am now, about bloody personality that stick on me. And I thank God it's just the same old me :]

This year is a blast. I found so many changes and new things happened. It's not a bad thing actually, though there're some which haunted me like shit. But, it's all good, I'm having fun and I'm glad I have my besties stick with me through all this.



Anyway, do you have songs which echoing in your head all the time recently? A song that might represents what your feeling right now, a soundtrack of your life. Well, I have one. It's Indonesian song (found it rare in my life by the way) and I never thought it'll stick on my mind day to day. Okay, I'll tell you, it's Cinta Pertama dan Terakhirku by Sherina. After watching the video clip on TV (this is rare as well, speaking I'm not a TV-addict), I immediately wanna have the album and yes, I finally got it yesterday. Yay!!! It turns over and over on my notebook and it's on top of my playlist right now ahaha.


Speaking about TV, since my dad stops subscribe our cable TV (because my lil bros didn't wanna stand up or doing something else than stick in front of television), then I can't watch my favorite TV channel anymore, MTV. But thanks to Youtube for having some shows being uploaded :] I like to watch It's on with Alexa Chung show right now, from Youtube :D I downloaded some and first time I watched it got me laugh. Alexa is cool and funny, and I love her accent, it's not like Keira Knightly but she reminds me of my English teacher, Gary. The jokes and stuff, definitely just like him ahaha. I wonder if they share the same England area, you know, Scotland, North England or Wales.

Do you have any favorite show? (Besides It's on with Alexa Chung, I'm a fan of the Ellen Show) Or maybe you have a favorite model? ;] Just tell me your days, guys :D