Mourning

It's all started with a text reply from my Mom, told me that Mao has gone.

When first I heard the news, I was kinda hard to believe it. There's no way my cat has gone. No freaking way!

But then, when I hit my house and find there's no little creature cheering at me anymore. I realized that he's really gone.

I tried to let it go, I don't wanna be too mellow about it but it seems so hard to do it. Mao means so much for me, he's the one who stays when everyone's leaving. He is my baby.

I don't know what is actually happen. It's just hit me, my lovely cat has gone and I feel like losing. In a deep way. We raised him since he was 3 months old, taught him how to act and everything and now he's gone? Just like that? It's sort of unbelievable. Well, at least for me.

Okay, maybe he's not gone for not having a chance for coming back, he's still alive... Alright, I'll break it down here, he's stolen. Somebody stole him from me when nobody's around. Well, he seems like a free cat when he's outside my house but he'll be back home when he thinks it's time to go home. He has a home, my home IS his home.

I've asked my mom about witnessing the kidnapper or stuff like that, and she told me that her friend, who got a gift to see lost things, said that Mao was stolen by a person who like him. More than I do? I doubt it.

Some people said to me that stolen cat has a chance to comeback to us once they got an opportunity to runaway. And it's been 2 weeks, and my brother said a reasonable assumption, "Maybe he's been pet in a cage.". Yes, that's why it took him a hard time to runaway. He CAN'T runaway, he can't outta steel bars. No animal can do that. And it assures me that the person doesn't know anything about pet a cat. Cats love walking around, they love doing everything everywhere around their territory. Cat is a free animal. If they're in a cage, it kills them.

Oh for once, I really wanna yelling at the person who stole him, "THAT IS MY CAT! MY FUCKING CAT, GET IT BACK TO ME!" But then, I just can sit alone, thinking about what Mao might be doing right now, and hope he's fine. I miss him. A lot. And thinking about our moments together, sometimes it's hard for me to handle the feelings. I just can't let him go, you know. I just can't.

And thinking about replacing him is just... sort of heartbreaking in a way. There's a little mourn feeling when we talk about Mao, it's like we're just losing our family member. Yeah, even though my mom and dad didn't play around with him as much as I and my lil bro did but they love him. They care about him.

I love my cat a lot, I love Mao and nobody can love him more than I do. Nobody can stand with him meow-ing all the time to every people he meets. Nobody can handle him gently as I do. NOBODY but me.

I just can't let him go, I won't. The only way he can go is taken by God. That's the only one way he's possible to leave me and I'd be fine about it.

So, yeah, I'm mourning right now and I pray to God to give me an answer for this lost. What will I get from this? What will I learn? If with this mourning and freaking sad feeling will get Mao back to me, I'll do what it takes. I'll do whatever it is.